Venting / Ups and Downs (Esoteric Tie in) / Fitness on TV

      

       Spring is here! We just had the first day of Spring not too long ago and that makes me feel just awesome. This year the first day of Spring happens to fall right after the Solar Eclipse we had last week or so and right before the Lunar Eclipse we're going to have on the 23rd. There are a lot of things going on this month and Astrologically speaking I gather it's supposed to be a real time of self realization and true discovery of where we want to be in life, coupled with feelings of solidarity, realism and practicality of the Universe.

       For me it's been like someone giving me binoculars or a radio transmitter or something - I can see and feel things on a wider spectrum (and see all the amazing opportunities life has to offer), but at the same time I'm still in my room and nothing spectacular has actually "taken place" - understanding there are some real things that can't be avoided, such as financial status, career choices, family issues, has been driving me crazy. It's supposed to be a big time for all of us, but you're going to hear all about me for now.

       Personally the last week or so has been quite nerve-racking and frustrating. I simply can't stand the feeling of "hurry up and wait", being "stuck" and lacking "control." Some of this I'm sure is related to an "Arien" point of view -  so bear with me while I break it down. This week has been about realizing, seeing and fully understanding where I want to be - and then comparing that scenario to the cruddy personal circumstances I have going on presently. For me it's like torture, purgatory... just the worst. Every little crumb of negativity gets amplified and it's like nails on a chalkboard. Keep in mind - things being amplified lately is only part of the current Astrological trends going on - but nevertheless it still makes me want to die.

       Lately it's been like,  one moment: I get these really hyped up ideas and I feel great, amazing, loving, visual, intense, creative, secure, flawless, all knowing, active, I'm on top of the world, everyone loves me! - and then the next moment: I get slapped in the face with all these harsh realities - My living space is too small, my job is going nowhere, my ex is running the show, I'm a lousy parent, I wish I could be more like normal people, I have issues that no one will ever understand, blah blah blah.. It's all been quite disruptive and my thoughts become all consuming, and because I can't let things go you know what happens?

       I get sick. The God / Universe says, "well TJ you bastard you can't calm yourself down so here's a nice buttery virus to help put things into perspective for you." You can't avoid the Judiciary acts of the Universe I guess. - and I paid for it.

       Only just tonight (3/21) have I finally caught a glimpse of an honest to goodness supportive quality in the midst of all this intensity. I'm getting over this crappy virus, I'm riding high on endorphins and jiggly legs from the gym, it seems my living situation has a little light at the end of the tunnel now... and I have tomorrow off to relax and align my energy. Thank God.

       I will try to squeeze something good out of this - and that is if there is anyone else out there who has felt any of the "powerless" vibe of the Universe lately, or felt like they were being swept away by circumstance, - or found themselves being a slave to monotony and unsatisfying drudgery - just know - You're not alone! They say misery loves company, and believe me I've been feeling it full force. It's been so bad on some days that I just want to drive away and start all over again. A feeling some of you may have had before as well.

       That being said - I believe this time of intense self realization is on it's way OUT and the craziness of it all will soon be coming to an end. It won't end on a negative note, however. (and this is how awesome the Universe is -) We will be receiving a FULL MOON to end our path of self discovery. It's like God's way of saying - "So - What are you gonna do about it?"

       It's up to us to take our findings, understand what they mean to us, and figure out a way to bring the change we want into our lives. To put all this into very simple terms - This is our time to plant the seeds of what we wish to create. We've seen everything, felt everything, and have a pretty good understanding of where we want to be and what we want to attract in our lives. Some of us had to deal with a little more than others during this phase, and that's ok - some of us are just a little more full tilt. but that's awesome. "god gives the toughest jobs to the toughest people."

       The good news is - by the 23rd - when the Full moon shines and fills our reality up, the planting will be done and growth is going to start. Let's make sure we plant the right seeds.

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       So my last entry might of come off as a little whiney - poor me - look at me - kinda vibe - and rightfully so - I was feeling kind of icky and down in the dumps for various reasons. I get selfish and a very bad case of tunnel vision when things are bad for me...  But... TODAY has been much different. I'm considering myself finally OVER whatever virus I had - my search for new living quarters is looking QUITE good now - and things in general just seem to be going my way. I'd like to take a minute to acknowledge this and reflect on this concept of give and take, yin and tang, up and down...

       There is a natural attraction of opposites in terms of how the Universe works - it's kind of interesting really... As humans we go through life wanting and striving and hoping for nothing but good things, feeling good, getting good results, only having good positive experiences - BUT inevitably we are faced with some occasional set backs, second thoughts, cold harsh reality, rainy days, injury / sickness, and it just downright blows for a while at times. The trick and truly hard feat as I have come to realize lately - is learning to understand and try to enjoy our times of negativity and unhappiness.

       If we broaden our perception we find that there are legit reasons for the negativity we go through in our lives. In essence - There can never truly be an ultimate awesomeness without there being an ultimate shittiness somewhere - it's just the way things perpetuate themselves. I guess it's kind of like a battery - there is a negative and a positive side - both sides of the spectrum are needed to create POWER. - So thank you, life, for giving me a few cruddy days lately. Purgatory or "the cold hard look in the mirror" or whatever you want to call it. All so that the good things to come seem truly good. Or summed up by A. Crowley, "That which I came to destroy, in order that I might fulfill."

       So - In the spirit of the Full moon tomorrow - planting seeds - and starting this Spring with our best foot forward - Allow me to wish you the very best success in your life and in all your endeavors. Have you taken the time to look at your life? Do you know what you want? Take an inventory and get those seeds ready because Planting time is NOW.

(Esoteric Tie in)

       Notice a theme lately? It's funny because I never fully understood this time of year until I started studying occultism - but it makes so much sense when you think about it. We can't have growth without fertilizer, we can't see anything new unless we take our eyes off something old, the
Winter has to die before the Spring can come to life. We need to have bad days in order to appreciate the good ones - In Easter terms: JC has to die and there HAS to be a period of hopelessness, despair and uncertainty before there can be a time of resurrection, rejoicing and celebration.

       So in closing - Happy Easter and I hope I have given you something to think about in the days to come. Life ebbs and flows. If you ever find yourself in a negative mood or situation, know that it's not going to last forever and something awesome is probably right around the corner.

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       I know I said I would write about some of the Fitness ideas / concepts I've seen in the media lately but truth be told I just haven't been able to watch a lot of TV this last week. Although I can't write about anything too current, I will touch on a few of the shows I've seen and give you my thoughts on them.

       Broken Skull Ranch:

       This is the one where that Steve Austin guy gets athletes together so they can compete in some majorly intense / competitive type courses.. At the end someone wins and takes home some money and prizes or whatever. I've only seen bits and pieces but it seems like a pretty basic show to me. There's action and you get to see different people from different fitness backgrounds and the obstacles look pretty intense. Fun to watch and entertaining. I just wish they would jazz it up a little bit though - throw in some crocodiles or a snake pit u know? 

       American Ninja Warrior:

       What can I say about this that hasn't already been said? To me this is like THE show that put physical enhancement in the spotlight. It's kind of got that Olympic feel to it - the best people from all different backgrounds are competing, you get a little history about them, etc. What is noteworthy to me is that it really exemplifies the idea that the human body can be amazing and do amazing things - and it's not just all about being able to play baseball, or basketball, or being a good quarterback, etc. Seldom do I see the idea of physical fitness being celebrated without it being attached to something mainstream... thank you for introducing the Ninja vibe to it too. Who doesn't love ninjas?

       From Fit to Fat to Fit:

       Woaaah nelly lol this is ummm... thinking outside the box? I don't even know WHAT to think about this one... I have only seen commercials for it and a few bits and pieces of it at the Nursing Home but it seems like the trainer deliberately flushes their life down the toilet for a period of time, puts on 15-20 lbs or whatever, so that their client can feel good about working out. The client gets to have a buddy going through the same things basically. In essence it seems like a shock factor cheap sell to me that won't last long... but who knows. First of all - personally -  just as a human being, I would NEVER ask someone to alter their physical appearance just for me NOR would I feel like that is even necessary... I don't get it - like I don't even understand how the idea even enters the equation... UNLESS - the athlete is doing it for themselves, like as a weird inner journey / psychological experiment or something. "What else is there ? What kind of boundaries can I push?" kind of thing... Ohh boy. It seems to be a hit at the Nursing Home, so maybe there is hope. aaaand  I have never seen a full episode so I suppose I can't judge a book by it's cover. but from where I sit right now - it looks a little too icky... not my cup of tea.

       Dwayne Johnson's - Wake Up Call:


       THIS was my absolute favorite take on the whole fitness / proactive lifestyle getting put into TV show format. It was short lived and only had like one or two episodes but it hits a home run and ranks high on my list. First of all I love this guy. It's like an all around good guy, embracing positivity, change, doing the right thing. He always plays the HERO archetype, good hearted, respectful. Really I mean he's just a total smiley douche bag, lol  but idk, I always had love for this guy.
       Anyway the show featured the rock going from place to place, helping down and out people. People in the show were in really bad circumstances. Facing problems like addiction, poverty, racism, - relationship issues, family drama things like that. and the rock would help them. With whatever powers the rock has (and of course some physical fitness stuff) He would help people graduate school, get over their sad issues, get a job, find themselves, whatever else. I thought that was just lovely.
       It's not hard to see WHY the show got cancelled... I mean it's not exactly entertaining and there's no real reason to tune in week after week. There was no real premise besides just the idea of helping people become better versions of themselves - but that in my eyes is worth of watching. Good for you Rock! I knew what you were going for... or as you might say - " I could smell what you were cooking!" hahahaha lol
        Sorry to see you go. It would be nice to see a comeback.


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        Thanks for reading, guys. Stay safe and good luck with all the positive changes you want to make in YOUR life.

Until next time -

<3

updates - esoteric entry on dreaming - gym life realizations

      

       Hi ! Glad you could make it - It's been a strange and cool few weeks for me but I haven't forgotten about you, my truly amazing and gifted readers lol. This time around I'll give you some thoughts and updates on the current conditions of my life, get majorly heady with my take on - DREAMING.. and explain how going to the gym is still awesome.

       To start with I'd like to just say that the current trends in my life have been quite TRANSITIONAL. I'm not sure if you can relate, but personally it's been a very informative, albeit painful last few days for me. I saw something earlier that describes it very well - "It's like you've been given angel wings and you're being ripped out of your old life." Or something similar - "There's a time when it becomes too painful to keep existing in your current form." - I've been basically hit in the face with all kinds of things that I feel are about to change, my world around me is reflecting back the answers to my questions, and this kind of thing is going to be on a MAJOR level - like permanent. So try as I might to keep my cool, I can't help but be totally excited and looking forward to what the future has to offer.

       I'm currently leaning toward the idea of scrapping the concept of financing a house... It's just not the right time and I feel there are still some "apartment days" I can conjure up, especially while I'm finishing school. What I really need now is Focus, and Alignment.. I will, however, keep a thoughtspace of my intentions well defined - so if and when the time comes for me to become a "homeowner" it will be perfect and hopefully as I always imagined it.

       I might be taking "tjwritesitdown" to a different avenue as well... I'd like to harness a more themed out version and give readers something a little more hyped up. I like the idea of keeping occultism as part of it, but then again who knows... I have lots of other ideas and stories I can share , I just need to find the right form and maintain the right outlet. As they say ... it's a work in progress.

      


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       For this time around my Esoteric Entry will be something I like to consider truly awesome. In fact, of all the "tools" we can use and incorporate into our proactive union of flesh and spirit - I consider this to be my "strongest" skill.  aaaaaaand that skill is called DREAMING.

       I'm going to explain DREAMING - what it is, what it means, and how to use it to your advantage (as I have come to understand it.)

       You probably understand that when our bodies go to sleep our minds continue to process information, relay information to us, and we ultimately have what we call dream experiences. If you're lucky you can sometimes remember them. If you're like most people you can probably recall a weird dream you've had before (or keep having). Frequently remembering dreams is a great step in the right direction, but not everyone can do this. If you find that you can dream frequently - and actually remember them - you have a good foundation for this.

       Consciousness is the name of the game here... Our consciousness is what we use to decipher, acknowledge, and understand our surroundings. In life we go around and have a relationship with the world we live in... in our dreams we do the same, but most of the time it's silly or weird or vague or whatever else because we've never considered the idea that we can actually EXPLORE the dream world.

       The first step to this is actually to believe / acknowledge and say to yourself  "hey, maybe there is a way I can do this."

       There are a lot of people who would scoff at the idea that we can access higher dimensions of ourselves and learn to dream, simply sweeping it all under the carpet of the only known PHYSICAL sciences... but when you start to give things a chance you will soon realize that EVERYTHING must have SOMETHING behind it... this is the nature of the Universe. and DREAMING is just a method of raising your vibration to a bigger aspect of what is here on earth and coming down from the cosmos.

       There are differences between the subtle variety of conscious experiences we have while our body is asleep. We can have run of the mill ordinary dreams - something happens, we notice we're in a funny or scary or weird situation or whatever - and things seem to happen AUTOMATICALLY - and that's what most of us call our every day dreams... but every once in a while we have a "lucid dream" - and for a brief few moments we actually realize that we are dreaming. I'm sure if you're over 20 years old you must have had SOMETHING like this happen to you at one point or another. We realize we're dreaming and it becomes kind of cool and interesting for a split second, then it usually derails and we wake up. If we're lucky we get to try out flying cause that's like the first thing everyone goes for.

       Eventually if you have enough of these lucid type dreams, learn to trust the experience and so on, you can make some pretty neat things happen. You can learn to fly around, meet a few dream characters, learn to experiment with the environment, etc... and at some point - usually during some unusual circumstances - you will finally achieve a full on ASTRAL PROJECTION - which I have to say, is just the fuckin' coolest, most amazing shit ever.

       I'm talking full on mind blowing, LIFE changing experience. This is where your mind / body becomes comfortable enough with whatever mechanism that's taking place and allows your duplicate / "etheric" double to exit your body and explore the astral planes.

       Think of a place, an actual real place that "exists" - where all our thoughts come together and maintain a living breathing plane - this is the Astral plane - there are many levels and it's shifting and under a great deal of our control. BUT it's also a real place and totally exists. If you find yourself having an experience like this consider yourself lucky. You are accessing a part of yourself / the universe with GREAT significance.

       Imagine going to sleep, and suddenly becoming aware of your surroundings - you think you've woken up - and as u get up, exit your bed,  and stretch, you realize it's still your room but things are different. Colors might be different, you might hear odd noises, furniture maybe has moved around. Something is off - but it can't be - you're completely conscious and aware that you just got out of bed. That's when you look back and see your body sleeping. - woah. this can be a little freaky. and is usually the point where we scare ourselves back into our body... Simple piece of advice - if you notice your body sleeping in the bed, instead of freaking out - jump out the window, or exit the room...once you're a good distance away you forget how scary it seems and can really have some fun : )) )     I could write a whole book on this but I won't...  Instead - I will just say that this is ENTIRELY possible and one of the most amazing, fun and beautiful hobbies you will ever have.

       You will never get separated from your body - you can't - believe me I've tried, and the worst case scenario is you get scared and jolt back into your body, or some form of higher WILL puts you back into your body.

       I understand this sounds a little nutty or like on the edge of craziness or something but believe me it's not. This is a real phenomena and you can look it up.

       ASTRAL PROJECTION is not as common as regular memorable dreams, but if you want to start working with your own dream exploration here are some helpful tips:

       Accept that there is a VERY REAL possibility that when our physical bodies go to sleep, our
       minds are able to live and explore higher states of awareness / consciousness.

       Keep a journal of the dreams you have -

       Learn to decipher your own dream language... We dream in symbols. So whatever
       happens must be PERSONALLY meaningful and significant to you in some way or another.
       Learn to decipher these symbols.

       Trust in the experience - Allow It to happen. It seems counter intuitive to just "give in" to
       something... but in a world where like energy attracts like energy, the last thing you want to do is
       be fearful, scared, or believe this kind of thing is not possible.

       Tell your close friends about your dreams. You never know - you might get lucky. There have
       actually been a couple times in my life where I've met people I know in my dreams and we could
       in fact describe the same situation or scenario in our waking lives (Careful on this one... there's
       a fine line between confiding in a personal friend and just looking like a creeper. lol)

       This is a really intense subject - but I hope I helped shed SOME light on the idea. Follow your dreams / become your dreams - and it will trickle down into your waking world and things will be THAT much more amazing. Dreaming is also great practice for learning to trust your inner feelings and intuition.

       ooook so now what -



  
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             It's been at least 4 months or so (I can't remember exactly when I started) since I've been an official gym member and going on a routine basis. I think it's fair to say I've been averaging getting a decent work out at least twice a week since I started - even more frequently recently. All in all it's been pretty interesting journey. The thing that's been on my mind though, especially lately, is this all of a sudden river of energy that I feel I've tapped into. It's like at some point something clicks on.

       Very "Wow ok so THIIIIISSSS is what it's all about" type of realization. I figure there's a good amount of people out there that go into the idea of fitness so they can start looking better, get some physical results, some self confidence, just be able to lift heavier shit or whatever and don't really think too much beyond that... (I can't front though I mean basically that's what I got into it for as well.) AT some point though, it sort of turns into something a lot more meaningful.

       In terms of personal productivity it starts to jump start your vibration. Suddenly things begin to seem a lot more possible, dreams become more tangible, projects and interests start coming up all the time, you feel better more often, etc. It's like joining a secret society of people who figured these things out.

       Don't get me wrong... it might not be like "this" for everyone, but it's especially pronounced for me because I JUST came from some pretty LOW places and the contrast is just amazing. It's like holy shit. Also, it's really awesome and refreshing to dive into some PHYSICAL aspects of my world. I feel it bridges the gap and will help even out how much energy / time I place on the NON-physical aspects.

       Taking charge of the vessel you're given is like creating the fuel you need to pilot your own destiny. And just about anything is possible right? so let it ride lol. I just thought I'd share my PERSONAL experience for those interested.

       To put things into some sort of perspective - I started around Xmas.. (so idk give it atleast 3 months.) I didn't even mess with my diet all that much. I just cut down on shit food and started paying attention to healthier options. Looking back and comparing myself to now, though, I feel way different. I feel it works best if you keep it simple, make it JUST about you. Don't do it for someone else or for any particular reason. Just try it and see what starts happening. For me it's resonated a lot further into my life - into my dreams, my thoughts, my feelings. It's like everything gets upgraded. tj 2.0 .... fuccck me. lol

       Next time I think I'll talk about some of the "fitness" shows I've seen on TV... my thoughts and input.
 

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       Thanks for reading - Please send me good thoughts and vibrations, as I will for you. So our collective endeavors maintain momentum and bring us full on into Spring. I'm not even done writing this and I already have ideas for what might come next! Here's some music that sort of reflects all this...

"We live in secret, we live in silence.. and we live forever."