My personal take on various subjects including but not limited to: current events, occultism / the paranormal, psychology, relationships, parenting, society, music, fitness, funny stuff and all the rest.
Hello! I've decided to come out of my prolonged hiatus to get real and drop a little knowledge about things concerning Clinton County Nursing Home. This is for all the RNs, LPNs and CNAs out there. (Stay tuned for a sneak peak of something cool I'd like to get off the ground.)
Bare with me. - the internet can handle my awesome personality for only 5 minutes at a time so if I seem rushed, that's why. And as always - Thanks for stopping by.
Why County?
If you become a new employee...
Usually I write about two or three different topics but this one is special because it concerns a place that's very much worked for me and I feel like it needs a healthy injection of good vibes. I love my co-workers and want to be helpful to those in need.
If you want something new and different come seeee us.
Hello! and once again thanks for checking this out. It's been some time since I've written anything. Or more realistically maybe it's just been some time since I've felt like putting anything out for people to see. Either or, here we both are.
Probably lost most of my "fan" base during the many months of being absent, and that's alright -but if you're coming back to read this - I truly think you are just so great.
One thing I can't stand lately is people who pull these cards out from their wallets to show you some symbol of their social status. This has happened to me more than once in my life and has been just as annoying each time.
One day back when I was working as a Cashier this one customer overheard me voicing my opinion about the government bailing out banks. (During the time it was big news.)
"You see this, son?" the man said to me as he pulled out a crusty, half legible card from his wallet. "This means I'm a federal employee. Before just spouting off some idea about what you wish the government would do or not do, take a minute to think first." I was stunned.
"Heh heh..., errmm, wow looks like you're the real deal." I said to this guy. - and Sure he was. At that moment he was the most official of all the official government jobs they give to the most official people in the US.
Another time, I accidently rear-ended a guy. (which sucks I know, and believe me I realize it was my fault - but..) After we both pulled to the side of the road he got out and started directing me on what I should be doing.
"Ok, I want you and the passenger to exit the vehicle and sit down on the curb over there. We're going to have to report this accident."
I got out of my car, looked at both of our vehicles and I shit you not - there wasn't even a scuff on either car. I said to him, "Hey! It doesn't look like there's any real damage here, are we sure we want to get the cops involved?"
This must have set him off because at that point he reached for his wallet. And for the second time in my life, a cruddy, illegible, more than likely awful smelling card was presented to me in a manner as if it were some lost documents to the Kennedy assassination. "Look at this. You know what this is!?"
I had no idea. To be perfectly honest. I couldn't have told the difference between his priceless credential and a losing lottery ticket picked up from the side of the street. I did, however, see an Underlined Title and what appeared to be a handwritten signature.
What was actually displayed on the card may have made some real sense to someone at some point, long ago, but all I could make out of it was "Association of the Local Commerce" - of something only God knows what. Signed. - "Fredrick Alberts."
Once again. To my pure astonishment.
I thought to myself, "Well shit. You're Fred Alberts! THE Fred Alberts? Noooo. C'mon - Old Freddie Alberts from buttfuck wherever!? Who would've known."
Thankfully the policeman who showed up was more than reasonable about things and nothing punitive was ever done. For that I'm grateful. Grateful to not have gotten in any trouble, but also grateful for this funny story I get to tell.
Another thing I feel is incredibly ridiculous is when you're in line at a drive through window and some guy behind you honks his horn. I'll never understand this move. There's no clearer message in life that says to the world "Hello everyone - I'm a complete Asshole." It's hard to respond to something like that too - you can't go back, you can't even move forward. All you can do is wait for the line to move, glance in the mirror, and pretend you're on the guy's side. Having to mentally identify with some complete stranger. This is just what society is lacking right now.
I try my best to convey some helpful vibration, "For god sakes man, I understand.. It sucks to have to wait for anything. It sucks that the whole world isn't just lining up to make each one of us happy. You know, The president should do something about this sort of thing. After All - Our happy meals are on the line here!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- These memes lately about how when you think or say something in real life and all of a sudden the internet puts ads up for it get under my skin. Like the internet is some big conspiracy and we're all just sheep waiting for the digital slaughter. Well News Flash - We all noticed that as soon as we got hooked up with smart phones and Netflix and all the other shit. The meme is a little late and furthermore, we're doing this all on our own free will! None of us gives Shit #1 if the internet knows we prefer this or that or whatever else. At the end of the day all of this is as simple as pressing the off button. Everyone thinks that if AI takes over It's all going to be this big nightmare. But I say Fuck that. They could just as easily be fun and charming! A benevolent species... "I know how you like everything, TJ, so I'm going to make that totally possible for you." (For a low monthly payment of course.) The saddest thing about it is that when the robots take over only the super rich are going to be able to afford top quality, Grade A, robot girlfriends. Sure they'll offer "more affordable" versions, but it just won't be the same...
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It's totally Valentine's Day today and it's just been one great big ball of weirdness. First of all - Why the eff was V-day SO SAD this year? I picked up on that even before the shooting in FLA. Let it be known my heart goes out to all the victims and their families... but God Almighty if we aren't approaching some MAJOR shit on a Universal level. "In the midst of Life, we are in Death." How shitty do things have to be where V-day now is like just another mass shooting...
I didn't have too much on the line this year myself. Well maybe I shouldn't say that.. There were a few moments I had this morning that were hard to get through. First of all let me say - I'm single and believe me, I have no trouble with that. But looking back and remembering good times with former GFs over my bowl of Honey Comb Cereal... It was tough. Not because of how things ended, how much time was wasted, or all the nasty fights or whatever. But because of the understanding that some of time, some of those experiences were good. Some were REALLY good. BUT - time just keeps passing, and life keeps on happening.
It's inevitable. We separate, come back, move on again, grow apart to pursue our dreams, meet someone new, old flames rekindle, new people drop out of thin air, sometimes we die (Shout out to Stacey, lol). It's a tough pill to swallow. It's the realization of knowing that all we really have is now and how it's so important that when the good times DO happen, we try our best to enjoy them.
Moving on, - I couldn't help but laugh today. While running my errands and carrying on with my normal routine I must have had 3 separate people ask me how my Valentine's day was going. This kind of thing is like chocolate covered strawberries for my ego, so I just want to acknowledge these very fine people: Thank you so much, guy who sold me a cherry coke at Target. My best wishes for you, PMLD cashier. And last but not least... E-trade online consultant - I'm going to miss you most of all.
My Valentine's day is going just fine. I hope yours is too. <3
Hey, guys! Thanks for once again checking out my side of the world! I truly appreciate it. I'm on vacation now so I have some extra time to tidy up my living space, work on various shortcomings, pull together some kind of tangible future (haha), and yes - complain about things.
This time I share my thoughts on aggressive salespeople and talk about Introversion and how It relates to Magical studies / Occultism. (from my perspective.)
I give you all the cool points in the world for checking this out - but remember everything I say or write is for entertainment purposes only.
"Never believe anything you publish. And never publish anything you believe."
Introversion and Magical Studies / Occultism often go hand in hand and it's a tough thing to deal with at times - Here are my thoughts on what happens, why it happens, and how to handle it.
The extent of my Memorial Day celebrating consisted of going to the grocery store for food - but that was mostly out of habit and societal pressure. The day itself had come and gone without any significant consequence and I found myself alone that night listening to music and thinking about the way my day went. Only very briefly remembering that it was memorial day and what that represents. I didn't feel any sense of TRUE gratitude until I was about to doze off...
As I drifted away I suddenly became aware of Dain Venne, whom I will explain shortly. Just after the recollection the thought came back to me of earlier in the grocery store while I was shopping.. "Everyone is here shopping, getting food, making plans, preparing for a feast and I don't know a single person who's actually given their life for this." How ironic, and truth be told, a little bit eerie.
Dain was a guy I knew briefly in my early 20s.. We had spent some time in the same region of NY before and we had the same Mexican History instructor during one of my brief in-periods at College. We made it through the semester together and got to know each other along the way.
From my perspective the most prominent thing I can remember about Dain is that he had a very real zest for getting involved in things. He was always the guy to speak his mind, put down his cards and show everyone what he had. I always admired that about him. Halfway through the semester it became known that he was on active duty.
After some homework assignments and a few tests later I got around to asking him about what made him join the service. He told me that after 9/11 he got pretty fired up. Basically got hit with the bug and enlisted to serve his country. This made sense to me and always seemed just a little bit cooler than going to college. In any case our paths crossed briefly but then separated. It wasn't until Nursing school for me that I had heard anything about him, and unfortunately the news wasn't good.
It had been about four years since I saw him, but it still put me back a bit to hear that Dain was Killed in Action. It was shocking and (in it's own way) carried a great sadness to me. He was truly a larger than life kind of person in my eyes - and fully unique - someone people could look toward... and someone who absolutely didn't deserve to have life cut short. Later on I heard there were anti-war protesters at his funeral. (This is something I'm not sure I'll ever understand - and in truth I'm not sure I even want to.)
I knew Dain for only about 4 months but it took much less than that for him to make a mark on my life. Believe me when I say this guy was cool. He was friendly, funny, smart, engaging and always brought life to the situation. A person you could look up to in the most real sense of the concept.
It's a tough situation, how the world is. The way we do things, the way we handle opposition... As I write the end of this, reflecting on my time with Dain, I offer my gratitude and appreciation for his sacrifice. To A good buddy from Mexican History and someone whom I believe to have found their true will - And for the countless amount of others who have been loved and lost during the course of their duty:
My dad was in the Air force so I grew up with a lot of the history channel, I've gotten more than an earful on the Kennedy assassination, and there were many war movies that got watched... Here are some thoughts on a couple of my favorites - WARNING - these clips contain spoilers and if you haven't seen them I would suggest not watching what I'm about to talk about. Hurt Locker, Patton and Saving Private Ryan.
The caduceus is an ancient symbol representing the balance between Universal Forces
This awesome blog server will not let me upload any more movies because I've apparently reached my limit. That's not going to stop me though from sharing my thoughts on this symbol, what I believe it represents, and how it can help you as a HEALTHCARE worker.
So we have a stave with wings protruding, a visible bulb on the very top, and two serpents intertwined around the stave. There are a lot of interpretations and different lineages that can explain the symbolism but I'm going to tell you about what I have learned and personally believe.
In it's simplest form this symbol represents duality in life. The stave represents equilibrium, the wings represent the celestial / (angelic?) / sovereign and higher power that governs over our lives. The bulb on the top represents the closed system / the ONE true singularity that is behind everything. The serpents represent the duality that is occurring in the world we find ourselves in. Serpents are also a symbol of wisdom...
We find ourselves in a world of duality / opposites - and in healthcare especially, there is a constant battle between what we can do to promote health / wellness, have a healing effect on people, promote the sanctity of life, etc and what we are powerless against (ie. death, sickness, other people's attitudes and wishes, disease process, etc.) The trick is to strive toward a place of balance between these two.
I think it's important to stress that neither side is any better or worse than the other, and both sides are actually quite essential for the ongoing forward movement through life that we enjoy so much. It's important to remember that although we do what we can, we can ONLY do the best we can - there are aspects and powers in life that are completely out of our control and it's okay to take some relief in that. Don't you feel a sense of relief when you realize that it's not YOUR job to control EVERYTHING? Simply put - do the best you can. All you need to do is all you're able to do. This can be very liberating.
No matter how advanced healthcare gets - it all comes down to this concept. All we can do (As outlined in the Doctor's Creed) - is Do No Harm, Prevent illness as best we can, and Promote wellness as best we can.
Sooooo...
Whenever you're having a bad day or are unsure about your place in Healthcare just go back to this symbol and remember what it means. I can tell you from personal experience that going back to this symbol has helped me many times in the past. I'm sure it can serve you as well.
"I will remember that there is art to medicine as well as science, and that warmth, sympathy, and understanding may outweigh the surgeon's knife or the chemist's drug." - One of my favorite parts of the Hippocratic Oath.
First of all it's nice to be back, writing, thinking, expressing and reigning it all in again! I had to take some time because of karma, some of my own issues, and God knows whatever else in this weird life I live. but... Thank you for your patience!
This is the clip where I present my new self, try to convey my personal experience with becoming a home owner, and give the many deserved thanks to the people who helped me along the way.
For the Esoteric portion it seems appropriate to talk a little about psychic vibration and the imprint we leave on our physical surroundings / the imprint our physical surroundings can leave on us.
This is for entertainment purposes only and mostly a matter of opinion:
So this kind of thing becomes important if you are moving around a lot - and in my case, I have been - but hopefully no more... for a good while at least.
As I reflect on years gone by, all the new life in town lately, all the hustling restaurants, and the changing of the seasons, I am saddened by the news of the death of John Fenimore - I did not know him personally, but feel like I knew him well enough. Life is funny like that.. sometimes I feel like I get to know people MORE after their passing than rather if they'd still be around here on earth... In any case let it be known that his passing hit me close to home in many ways, and my heart goes out to his family and his friends.
If there's anything that I truly can't get my head around, it's when people of such value and potential get their time cut so short. There's so much to do and so many people out there to have an impact on. You will be missed - Keeping you in my thoughts.
Hey, guys! I decided to write it down this time because for some reason or another I just can't gather the momentum to "voice" my way through another entry... Vocalization and writing are two pretty different things and after trying my hand at "v-loging" I feel that I probably shouldn't quit my day job haha... (which is writing.) - Anyway here goes - another entry / episode of TJ writes it down. Throwback to writing - I'll give you some personal Updates, Talk about a good way to size people up, and End by a tribute to Nerds...
This week has been interesting for me, lots of things going on. Full moon in pragmatic / practical Capricorn - which is USUALLY not my favorite sign... HOWEVER - Capricorns are known for keeping their sense of self and are NOTORIOUS for how much they can get done / how they can keep their nose to the grindstone. - Maintaining momentum and following through has never been my strong suit, but after this full moon I feel like things might just work out for me. Let this be a lesson - just because you don't agree or naturally align with some things, doesn't mean those things can't help you and provide some hidden insight to your life along the way. I feel like I had things all figured out - I knew exactly what I was doing, how I was going to do it, etc... and then life goes - "NOPE! - try this out instead, lets make this, this, and that fall completely through - so now you're feeling lost, just about so alone it's comical, regretful about all your life's choices and in total limbo. Let's see how this feels for a little bit... " Perhaps the ULTIMATE test is to have faith, and see what I'm made of. I talk the talk... but can I walk the walk? - In the words of my SOL instructor - "Tj, up until now you've been like a caterpillar, happily munching away at anything that would give you a moment's satisfaction. You're beginning to rise above this now, and sometimes growth is painful." I find this to be very true. More on this to come...
I will end with a brief approval and huge thumbs up to nerds. Specifically nerds who do the speed runs of my favorite video games. I'm not sure if it's alright to call them nerds. Sorry if it's not - but that's kind of how I've always taken the term. People who are borderline obsessed with something - more often than not only ONE thing, ie collecting, or video games, or music.. (hehe) or comic books, or what have you. Indoorsy types, people who understand technical things, people who excel at the obscure, people who are just really really really into something..
Anyway let me just say - I LOVE these men and women who do these speed runs. It's so cool and they do it so fast. I love it. I love how these are like full blown adults too. And they are so harmless, and nice and all about fun, raising money for charities and stuff. - AND they have like EVERY video game! Check it out!
Here's a quick video for y'all - Hope everyone is enjoying themselves. One thing I forgot to mention is that if I'm repeating myself or posting the same old kinds of things (lol) - I'm sorry. I love you guys and don't want to bore anyone, but I don't watch these for quality control haha.
Anyway life is rad : ) - hopefully by the next time you see me, I will be in a brand new place - in a whole different frame of existence. "Keep on rockin' in the free world!"
In light
Here's some music to peep -
Kinda like the history of skateboarding.. plus Cass Mccombs is great:
Bye everyone!
Monday, June 13, 2016
Hey guys! Here's another video to tie it all together. Big things are happening and I feel like I'll be heading in to some next level tj kinda stuff. I'm happy to show you all what I'm thinking of - Please keep me in mind and enjoy my presence! As I will with you! ; ))
Heeeey guys thanks for stopping by and checking out my new video. I don't know about you but life has been a real intense journey lately. I'm trying to do my best but the universe keeps throwing things in my face. Anyway here is a little story I'd like to share!
Here's some music too -
Looking forward to the future. I'm nothing less than willing and able. As we embark on this transition into full on SUMMER, I ask all of you to guide me to where I need to be, as I will with you.
More to come : ))
teeej
Friday, May 6, 2016
Hey, guys!
Check it out - TJ talks about it this time! This is so natural! You know some people have accused me of being a little weird. I think I finally understand what they mean now. haha AAAAnnnyway glad you could make it. Check me out - I'm really cool.
Don't forget to check my music pics for the moment ; ))
So I'm going to be 31 in a few days. How dreadful lol - hehe j/k.. I'm going to be officially "in my thirties" though.. which is a little weird to me. I can tell I'm becoming more of an adult because I'm not planning any parties or even making any significant plans lol. I requested it off this year, though, and truth be told - I just hope I have a few minutes of time to reflect / feel gratitude about my life's current circumstances. I miiiiight go to VT to see Kaskade and stock up on magick supplies and music. I was thinking of getting some new ink too. All in good time though..
Anyway - This year has found me in a particulary transitional point of life, and I am very excited and happy about it. So allow this first entry to be a tribute and reflection upon myself as TJ, and an Aries - as well as a celebration of all ARIES people - Our time has come yet again lol
I've always believed in myself as an ARIES in many aspects of my life. Spiritually for sure 100% . Mentally .. about 65%. Physically ehh, 50/50 at best... Personality - If you get to know me you will see that I have my moments.
What does it mean to be an ARIES? for me? It's a lot like having tunnel vision - or like - you can't hear the train until it's 3 feet from you. But whatever you're focused on means the world at the time. Especially in aspects of my personality and relationships... I keep touching the hot stove and it takes me over and over again to learn lessons. That's one drawback I guess you could say. It's not all negative though!
When I feel inspiration or motivation I REAAAALLY feel it. I'm in love with ideals and grand concepts. I love freedom, creativity, expansion, LOVE, pioneering, enterprising. I always root for the underdog and identify with oppression. I want to expand - and give forth what I've learned and come to realize.
They say words can't teach, only life experience can. - and for an ARIES that is remarkably true. I just won't be satisfied until I have the REAL experience and only after the RAW trial and error. I have to know I'm going somewhere and that there is an attainable GOAL. I have to feel it - experience it. Also people can tell me again and again what the outcome of some situation or circumstance will be, but unless I experience it full fledge for myself, other people's words / advice seldom have any effect on me.
My outward existence is not quite what it seems and I've been told this before. Most people upon meeting me can peg that I'm holding a lot back, and that there is more to the picture than meets the eye. I never understood why I was so inept at fitting in, showing people who I am, or being able to feel comfortable in seemingly ordinary circumstances. I think maybe it's wrapped up somewhere in my life lessons and the agreements I made before I came here... One thing I can't ever fake though is my emotional state. I'm just an easy read I guess..I wear my heart on my sleeve and it's been for better worse.
Another thing I've been forced to deal with (and this is thankfully more just MY OWN deal) is how young I look. People can't believe when I tell them I'm 30, or that I have a 9 year old son. lol "It's just the way God made me" I say.. or "that's what happens when you sell your soul.. kind of a trade off, you have to stay young forever." - people don't react to that one as much as I'd like them to. Again - something weird that I can only attribute to the agreements I made before coming here. There could be worse things I suppose..
Aries - I feel is a lot like KETHER in the Qabalah - think... "I AM" - I am .. It's the first thing that manifests. It's the first thing that's evident. Both amazing and new, yet uninitiated and foolish. What a weird combination lol.
So anyway that's kind of Aries in a nutshell - in my own opinion and based on findings from my own life.
Spring is here and there are a lot of April birthdays that I know of. As this time comes and goes, I would like to wish all of my Fellow - Arien friends a happy bday - and remember: You're waaaay cooler than any other sign lol
This week's meat and potatoes esoteric entry will be about COLOR. Color is something I don't think too much about in terms of everyday, but for some reason I have been using it more and more lately.. so this will be interesting to write about.
Color can be an extremely powerful tool. Whether you are wearing it, adding it to your business, using it in mental communications, or whatever else. We as humans are aware of a spectrum of color - known as ROYGBIV or - the rainbow. We are aware of many other colors in-between as well, all of which have meaning and give off a certain feeling. I'm going to explain the concept of the spectrum as best I can, what each color represents (in ball park terms) and how we can use this information - some people may not agree with every little thing I say about this and that's ok. My advice would be to pick up whatever resonates with you and simply leave the rest behind.
Anyway - like many things in life - COLOR has a beginning, a middle, and an end - just like numbers (1-10 concept) just like the ABCs, and whatever else. As humans we are only able to detect a certain portion of the spectrum. They say it's basically from black to white in terms of contrast and from red to violet in terms of actual differentiation. Anyway here is a helpful guide to what the colors mean - Feel free to use this, draw from it, or label it as pure garbage. whatever suits you best.
Blue - Communication, Your "outward" effect on the world, Personal Truth, Vocal Ability,
Control of the Essence you give off, How you come across. - Outgoing information
Indigo / Violet - Psychic center, Clairvoyance, - Incoming information, Intuition, Inspiration, Dream center / Higher self
Whites - Union, God, the Universe - the higher parts we can't access yet, "It's all good"
Earth tones - Browns, dark greens / olives etc... - Home, Family, Security, Feeling full,
Happiness, Fruits of our labor, Good Food.
Blacks / Grays - Neutrality, Humble-ism, The Void, Banishing, Tranquility, Blending in, Low
Key.
We can apply and use color in many aspects of our lives. We can wear them to reflect our vibrations, daily moods, etc... we can mentally put color around people / situations we find ourselves around, we can decorate our homes, we can do basically anything with them. The thing to understand is that COLOR elicits a response - and depending on the response we want, we use the color that best applies. This is kind of how magick and occult work goes... it's like algebra. We know the certain values of some things, but we need to put them in some kind of formula to solve for the DESIRED outcome.
Try it out - next time you have a big meeting or social engagement - a little while before hand mentally surround the situation with a color and vibration you wish to have. You'll be surprised how well it works. I do it all the time. People at work, residents, the parking spot I want at the mall, the mail order shit that's on it's way, the food I order. COLOR is really powerful... and it's a fun way to practice clairvoyance / second sight.
Don't forget about the new moon coming up... Couple days or so. Casting / Magickal theory suggests that new moons are the best times to dispel things you don't want anymore - or to get rid of things you are ready to get rid of. New moons are also good for "planting the seeds" of what you'd like to see manifested in the future. Also good for secretive and hidden acts.
Now it's time for a personal anecdote - To lighten the mood and ground us back to normal day to day stuff.
I was in Price Chopper the other day (I go there a lot) and was just kind of getting over my recent illness, tooling around in the produce section when I noticed an odd, middle aged man staring at me from behind the Strawberries. He was wearing sunglasses but I can tell you - he was LOOKING right at me, ... not just looking, but staring. I tried not to notice. I glanced up, made the understanding that this dude it gawking at me and pretended to go back to looking at the juices in front of me. "Hmmm" I thought. "What is that guy looking at?" "Maybe he's blind?" I thought to myself. - and that would explain it. Just a coincidence! He can't tell if he's staring at someone or whatever - he can't see!. but where is his walking stick? He's got all this shit in his basket, perfectly placed.. no seeing eye dog or any noticeable friend helping him out...- there's no way he's blind. Oook, so maybe I'm just being paranoid. Maybe he thought I looked familiar or maybe he's just a pervert or something.. but he's still staring at me. This is getting awkward.. ok tj move on.. turn the corner, just get out of here.
As I continued my shopping I began to wonder.. what if that guy was a secret agent, and maybe I look similar to his contact. He was just sizing me up! Waiting for the secret signal I was unable to give him. Should I go back and check? No - ... don't do that. Maybe I look like his long lost nephew, Leonard - that disappeared into Plattsburgh after getting into some Legal trouble in Montreal, 8 years ago... Well he would have said something if that were the case. Maybe he was just a weirdo - and something about my amazing presence commanded his gaze for like 3 minutes. Maybe I was everything he hated about the new generation and he was looking at me in disgust. Who could ever know? -
Anyway I saw him exiting the store as I was in the checkout line. Well I can tell you one thing - after seeing him up close. He was no secret agent. Infact, he looked more like an ex professional wrestler. All washed up and trying to get a deal on watermelon that morning. HAHA! a non-threat to my life.. nevertheless I said to myself - this will make something good to write about.
Spring is here! We just had the first day of Spring not too long ago and that makes me feel just awesome. This year the first day of Spring happens to fall right after the Solar Eclipse we had last week or so and right before the Lunar Eclipse we're going to have on the 23rd. There are a lot of things going on this month and Astrologically speaking I gather it's supposed to be a real time of self realization and true discovery of where we want to be in life, coupled with feelings of solidarity, realism and practicality of the Universe.
For me it's been like someone giving me binoculars or a radio transmitter or something - I can see and feel things on a wider spectrum (and see all the amazing opportunities life has to offer), but at the same time I'm still in my room and nothing spectacular has actually "taken place" - understanding there are some real things that can't be avoided, such as financial status, career choices, family issues, has been driving me crazy. It's supposed to be a big time for all of us, but you're going to hear all about me for now.
Personally the last week or so has been quite nerve-racking and frustrating. I simply can't stand the feeling of "hurry up and wait", being "stuck" and lacking "control." Some of this I'm sure is related to an "Arien" point of view - so bear with me while I break it down. This week has been about realizing, seeing and fully understanding where I want to be - and then comparing that scenario to the cruddy personal circumstances I have going on presently. For me it's like torture, purgatory... just the worst. Every little crumb of negativity gets amplified and it's like nails on a chalkboard. Keep in mind - things being amplified lately is only part of the current Astrological trends going on - but nevertheless it still makes me want to die.
Lately it's been like, one moment: I get these really hyped up ideas and I feel great, amazing, loving, visual, intense, creative, secure, flawless, all knowing, active, I'm on top of the world, everyone loves me! - and then the next moment: I get slapped in the face with all these harsh realities - My living space is too small, my job is going nowhere, my ex is running the show, I'm a lousy parent, I wish I could be more like normal people, I have issues that no one will ever understand, blah blah blah.. It's all been quite disruptive and my thoughts become all consuming, and because I can't let things go you know what happens?
I get sick. The God / Universe says, "well TJ you bastard you can't calm yourself down so here's a nice buttery virus to help put things into perspective for you." You can't avoid the Judiciary acts of the Universe I guess. - and I paid for it.
Only just tonight (3/21) have I finally caught a glimpse of an honest to goodness supportive quality in the midst of all this intensity. I'm getting over this crappy virus, I'm riding high on endorphins and jiggly legs from the gym, it seems my living situation has a little light at the end of the tunnel now... and I have tomorrow off to relax and align my energy. Thank God.
I will try to squeeze something good out of this - and that is if there is anyone else out there who has felt any of the "powerless" vibe of the Universe lately, or felt like they were being swept away by circumstance, - or found themselves being a slave to monotony and unsatisfying drudgery - just know - You're not alone! They say misery loves company, and believe me I've been feeling it full force. It's been so bad on some days that I just want to drive away and start all over again. A feeling some of you may have had before as well.
That being said - I believe this time of intense self realization is on it's way OUT and the craziness of it all will soon be coming to an end. It won't end on a negative note, however. (and this is how awesome the Universe is -) We will be receiving a FULL MOON to end our path of self discovery. It's like God's way of saying - "So - What are you gonna do about it?"
It's up to us to take our findings, understand what they mean to us, and figure out a way to bring the change we want into our lives. To put all this into very simple terms - This is our time to plant the seeds of what we wish to create. We've seen everything, felt everything, and have a pretty good understanding of where we want to be and what we want to attract in our lives. Some of us had to deal with a little more than others during this phase, and that's ok - some of us are just a little more full tilt. but that's awesome. "god gives the toughest jobs to the toughest people."
The good news is - by the 23rd - when the Full moon shines and fills our reality up, the planting will be done and growth is going to start. Let's make sure we plant the right seeds.
So my last entry might of come off as a little whiney - poor me - look at me - kinda vibe - and rightfully so - I was feeling kind of icky and down in the dumps for various reasons. I get selfish and a very bad case of tunnel vision when things are bad for me... But... TODAY has been much different. I'm considering myself finally OVER whatever virus I had - my search for new living quarters is looking QUITE good now - and things in general just seem to be going my way. I'd like to take a minute to acknowledge this and reflect on this concept of give and take, yin and tang, up and down...
There is a natural attraction of opposites in terms of how the Universe works - it's kind of interesting really... As humans we go through life wanting and striving and hoping for nothing but good things, feeling good, getting good results, only having good positive experiences - BUT inevitably we are faced with some occasional set backs, second thoughts, cold harsh reality, rainy days, injury / sickness, and it just downright blows for a while at times. The trick and truly hard feat as I have come to realize lately - is learning to understand and try to enjoy our times of negativity and unhappiness.
If we broaden our perception we find that there are legit reasons for the negativity we go through in our lives. In essence - There can never truly be an ultimate awesomeness without there being an ultimate shittiness somewhere - it's just the way things perpetuate themselves. I guess it's kind of like a battery - there is a negative and a positive side - both sides of the spectrum are needed to create POWER. - So thank you, life, for giving me a few cruddy days lately. Purgatory or "the cold hard look in the mirror" or whatever you want to call it. All so that the good things to come seem truly good. Or summed up by A. Crowley, "That which I came to destroy, in order that I might fulfill."
So - In the spirit of the Full moon tomorrow - planting seeds - and starting this Spring with our best foot forward - Allow me to wish you the very best success in your life and in all your endeavors. Have you taken the time to look at your life? Do you know what you want? Take an inventory and get those seeds ready because Planting time is NOW.
(Esoteric Tie in)
Notice a theme lately? It's funny because I never fully understood this time of year until I started studying occultism - but it makes so much sense when you think about it. We can't have growth without fertilizer, we can't see anything new unless we take our eyes off something old, the
Winter has to die before the Spring can come to life. We need to have bad days in order to appreciate the good ones - In Easter terms: JC has to die and there HAS to be a period of hopelessness, despair and uncertainty before there can be a time of resurrection, rejoicing and celebration.
So in closing - Happy Easter and I hope I have given you something to think about in the days to come. Life ebbs and flows. If you ever find yourself in a negative mood or situation, know that it's not going to last forever and something awesome is probably right around the corner.
I know I said I would write about some of the Fitness ideas / concepts I've seen in the media lately but truth be told I just haven't been able to watch a lot of TV this last week. Although I can't write about anything too current, I will touch on a few of the shows I've seen and give you my thoughts on them.
Broken Skull Ranch:
This is the one where that Steve Austin guy gets athletes together so they can compete in some majorly intense / competitive type courses.. At the end someone wins and takes home some money and prizes or whatever. I've only seen bits and pieces but it seems like a pretty basic show to me. There's action and you get to see different people from different fitness backgrounds and the obstacles look pretty intense. Fun to watch and entertaining. I just wish they would jazz it up a little bit though - throw in some crocodiles or a snake pit u know?
American Ninja Warrior:
What can I say about this that hasn't already been said? To me this is like THE show that put physical enhancement in the spotlight. It's kind of got that Olympic feel to it - the best people from all different backgrounds are competing, you get a little history about them, etc. What is noteworthy to me is that it really exemplifies the idea that the human body can be amazing and do amazing things - and it's not just all about being able to play baseball, or basketball, or being a good quarterback, etc. Seldom do I see the idea of physical fitness being celebrated without it being attached to something mainstream... thank you for introducing the Ninja vibe to it too. Who doesn't love ninjas?
From Fit to Fat to Fit:
Woaaah nelly lol this is ummm... thinking outside the box? I don't even know WHAT to think about this one... I have only seen commercials for it and a few bits and pieces of it at the Nursing Home but it seems like the trainer deliberately flushes their life down the toilet for a period of time, puts on 15-20 lbs or whatever, so that their client can feel good about working out. The client gets to have a buddy going through the same things basically. In essence it seems like a shock factor cheap sell to me that won't last long... but who knows. First of all - personally - just as a human being, I would NEVER ask someone to alter their physical appearance just for me NOR would I feel like that is even necessary... I don't get it - like I don't even understand how the idea even enters the equation... UNLESS - the athlete is doing it for themselves, like as a weird inner journey / psychological experiment or something. "What else is there ? What kind of boundaries can I push?" kind of thing... Ohh boy. It seems to be a hit at the Nursing Home, so maybe there is hope. aaaand I have never seen a full episode so I suppose I can't judge a book by it's cover. but from where I sit right now - it looks a little too icky... not my cup of tea.
Dwayne Johnson's - Wake Up Call:
THIS was my absolute favorite take on the whole fitness / proactive lifestyle getting put into TV show format. It was short lived and only had like one or two episodes but it hits a home run and ranks high on my list. First of all I love this guy. It's like an all around good guy, embracing positivity, change, doing the right thing. He always plays the HERO archetype, good hearted, respectful. Really I mean he's just a total smiley douche bag, lol but idk, I always had love for this guy.
Anyway the show featured the rock going from place to place, helping down and out people. People in the show were in really bad circumstances. Facing problems like addiction, poverty, racism, - relationship issues, family drama things like that. and the rock would help them. With whatever powers the rock has (and of course some physical fitness stuff) He would help people graduate school, get over their sad issues, get a job, find themselves, whatever else. I thought that was just lovely.
It's not hard to see WHY the show got cancelled... I mean it's not exactly entertaining and there's no real reason to tune in week after week. There was no real premise besides just the idea of helping people become better versions of themselves - but that in my eyes is worth of watching. Good for you Rock! I knew what you were going for... or as you might say - " I could smell what you were cooking!" hahahaha lol
Sorry to see you go. It would be nice to see a comeback.
