So if you're a guy - at some point you must have noticed the idea that picking up girls, having relationships, getting laid, etc. has evolved into an art form in popular culture. Upping your game, getting better at your PUA skills, and trying to stay on point is like total guy commandment.
One thing I find kind of interesting is the idea that guys break down into categories based on their fundamental relationship with the world around them. How guys act and behave - and how it applies to attraction is something I'm sure just about most guys would want to learn more about. So - this first section is one for the dudes.
There are many different types of people out there, with different types of game and ability to attract... According to popular culture, however, guys typically break down into two categories (Alpha and Beta).
Although more categories have been "discovered." As mainstream as it gets - there are two fundamental types of guys:
"Alpha" guys are the dudes that are always ON - Putting their best foot forward, keeping their energy up at all times, maintaining control, seeing their intention through to fruition. Full steam ahead - so to speak
"Beta" guys are the ones who are a little more reserved, more acquiescent in relationships, time taking, ready and willing to be OFF in the face of daily life. Steady as she goes - so to speak.
Most of what's out there seems to lean toward the idea that being Alpha is "better" than being beta... but according to some very reputable sources (and certainly my own life experience) - there are UPS and DOWNS to EACH side, and there is no such thing as an "all or nothing" formula that works magic... There are always two sides to every coin - right?
By no means do I consider myself a "PUA" or anything... but after looking around, reading a lot, watching a lot, and living a lot - here is what I've come up with. Allow your boy teej to break it down...
FIRST! Let me preface this by saying - "Self love is important, but self awareness is more useful." There IS definitely a division between the idea of Alpha and Beta and I'll give you that... When you read all the info and take a good look in the mirror I'm sure you will identify more with one side or another. You're either a macho all hands on deck kinda dude, or you're a laid back, let life take it's course kinds dude. (Think Discovery channels' "dual survival") - Now don't be alarmed, and don't believe the hype. No matter what any video or article says, being one or another doesn't make you any "better" or "worse" and the good news is, it's probably quite uncommon for anyone to be "PURE" Alpha or "PURE" Beta. Generally we switch between the two depending on certain situations.
Now - speaking from my own point of view. Living in the real world... I've had Alpha friends, I've had Beta friends, I've seen Beta friends turn into Alpha friends, and I've seen Alpha friends turn into Beta friends. But I can tell you one thing for sure - there has never seemed to be any rock hard evidence that would suggest being one or another equals getting laid more.
The guys who get laid the most are..... (drumroll please).... the guys who are most actively out looking to hook up with women. That's it. TA-DA! Now one could certainly argue and say well obviously the guys who are out there trying to get laid are ALPHA - they're taking control, they have more drive, they're going after their prize....
Well I got news for you, my friends... Beta people actively seek out hooking up / getting laid too, but just don't go about it in the same way Alpha people do. Motives are often very different, set and setting are often different, and certainly accomplished notoriety often different... It doesn't make things any "less" or "more"... It just makes things different.
This is just the basic human condition! Whether you're Beta, Alpha, or talented enough to switch between the two, humans like sex and we generally go after sex however we can, in a way that suits us best.
Now that being said - let's talk a little about ATTRACTION. What is attraction? Well it is (as defined by whatever dictionary the internet uses): the action or power of evoking interest, pleasure, or liking for someone or something. - The act of making someone or something favorable toward you. If the goal is to have more intimate experiences - we should all work on ATTRACTION... But people are as individual and unique as snowflakes - SO... this can get a bit tricky.
Personally I'm not one of those guys who believes there is a quick fix... You can't "just be a certain way" that will give you amazing attraction power or have complete control over women. That notion is ridiculous... and first of all if you're in this game you should have an upright and quality examination of your motives. To get just a little off topic here... I'm sorry - but this is important to me - in my eyes a man who is simply out to "get laid" is NOT as manly as a man who wants a REAL relationship with someone, is willing to take care of his friends and family, is willing to raise his children, and is consciously moving toward a better future. "Game" should be a tool, not a crutch or way of life...
Getting back on the attraction train... Variety as they say, is the spice of life. And I believe variety is where a lot of attraction lays... So HERE's five dollars worth of free advice - and I KNOW I'm not the only guy who thinks this way (so ladies take note!)... If you want to truly appeal to people.. There is NOTHING more stimulating and attention getting than a sincere, lighthearted change in your behavioral tendencies, your physical appearance, or your attitude.
This kind of thing drives us wild. Especially as guys - we like moving around, we like different situations, we like proving ourselves in different situations... When girls show us different sides of their personalities it's like a new thing for us, a new challenge... and guys like challenges. We like feeling useful, and we like feeling that the territory is NEW. What I'm saying is that too much of the same old thing stagnates and becomes boring. Keep reinventing yourself and you will never ever go wrong. I promise. I wonder - Is this also true to some extent from a girl's perspective?
In closing - Please keep in mind this is all just my shit head opinion and more or less based on observational / anecdotal experience only... but lemme tell you - "Difference makes a difference."
Here's some stupid game shit I found... Which do YOU identify with?
ALPHA: You are confident and definitely your own man. You do your own thing and have complete confidence in everything you do. You have your self doubts, but don't let it cloud your judgment. You are more known for being logical. You are well liked by almost everyone and have an easy charm / swagger about your presence. Women are drawn to your charisma and presence. You enjoy being social and having lots of people around. You are a natural leader
BETA: You are kind of shy or introverted and not very secure in most surroundings. You are constantly plagued by self-doubt and often lack commitment for fear of failure. You are somewhat liked by people but not viewed as anything special. You are more likely to become friends with women than commit to full relationships with them. You are nervous around large groups of people and find it's easier to be a follower in the majority of situations.
OMEGA: You are the opposite of the alpha male but not in a bad way. Like the alpha male you are confident, intelligent and have a sense of charisma about you. But unlike the alpha male, you are completely your own person. You do not need anyone. You can sometimes be emotionally distant due to your complete self-possession (borderline obsession in some Omegas). You trust few people and foster even fewer intimate relationships. Omegas do not place importance on leadership by others as they are perfectly capable of leading themselves.
GAMMA: You are basically the "invisible" guy. There is nothing really spectacular about you. You are not a beta, but neither are you an alpha. Your personality and presence usually blends in with the rest of the room and you're just sort of...there. People like you just fine and you usually don't have too much trouble with girls, but all the same, there is nothing particularly memorable or remarkable about you. You are not a born leader, nor are you an inherent follower. Although you can take on those tasks depending on the situation, you see no reason to.
SIGMA: You are a manipulative mastermind. Like a spider waiting to lay your trap. You possess a cunning, intuitive mind and can sway people to your will. You don't have the casual swagger of the alpha or the omega but you DO have a clever presence about you. People tend to be both wary of you and respect you at the same time. Your natural ability of persuasion makes you often more noted than Alphas or Omegas. You lead when it suits you, you follow when it suits you.
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Meditation was the subject of last time's esoteric entry. I wrote about what it is and how it can help your life. This week's part will be a little on taking it a bit further and bringing it to the next step.
So maybe some of you are familiar with meditation (the kind I'm discussing / writing about is "passive" meditation just F.Y.I.) the concept of quieting your inner self, relaxing the body, giving yourself the freedom to just let things in your inner world come and go. You know what meditation is, has to offer, and maybe you've even tried it a couple times... So what's next? What can we expect? Where do we go from here? - I will do my best to explain things.
If you actually gave meditating a try a week or so ago, by now I'm willing to bet the MOMENTUM has starting to dwindle. Very understandable. You may think to yourself, "I put all this effort into getting ready, finding the time, quieting the house, and u know what happens? NOTHING! - I tried it a couple of times and it's starting to seem more like a chore. I'm so busy - honestly who has time to just sit around for 15-20 minutes a day??" These are all very typical and understandable things that people go through when they start this process. Fear not -
What can help this? First of all - DON'T BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF... This is a very real process and it takes time to truly develop.
Another thing you should do is start a meditation journal. Do your meditation, then actually write down how you felt before and how you felt after. Write down all the things that came into your mind. Write down what seems to be bothering you the most, what makes you the happiest, what you wish for in the future, etc... Writing down gets you more involved in the process and you'll find it more rewarding in the long run to be able to look back on things you've written.
Add some things to help you get in the mood - Insence, Candles, Music and stuff can all help. Have you ever walked into a church? Right off the bat you just about feel holier, this is cause the atmosphere is so juiced up and concentrated. If you're having trouble meditating - concentrate your atmosphere and that will certainly help.
REMEMBER why you're doing this - When you can, when your mind is quiet.. remember you want a better life, a more fulfilling participation in the world, a clearer and more appreciative recollection of the past, an index of various emotions that are only known and identifiable to you, an overall feeling of complete freedom, a greater sense of connectedness to the people in your life. Think about how your life will change for the positive. Meditation will help you achieve all of this.
Eventually after you've been at it for a few weeks or so you will start to look forward to this few minutes a day of "me" time. It takes a little effort and sometimes you just have to suck it up, grin and MAKE IT HAPPEN. Start thinking of it as giving yourself 15-20 minutes of absolute FREEDOM time to JUST BE. You're busy enough when you think about it. You're living an active daily life in 2015 - 15-20 minutes of time to sit, be yourself and relax is like heaven. You're tending to your mind, it's fitness for your inner self.
Most importantly though - DON'T GIVE UP! Even if you skipped a few days, even if you feel stupid or like it's not working - Keep at it. It doesn't take long to see some results and start developing an appreciation for this process. In time you will start to see MAJOR results.
Some things that MAY crop up along the way:
You might start to feel a little more emotional in your day to day life. Around people and situations you might feel yourself getting a little "heady." You might feel like you're occasionally picking up vibrations from the world around you. When you meditate you basically get in tune with your inner self. You are actively realizing and giving life to your own emotions / feelings / instincts... and trust me you will definitely start to pin point the things that make you feel a certain way. This is a good thing, but there can be some pitfalls. It's a good time to start thinking about and familiarizing yourself with "psychic self defense." I'll get more in depth with that a bit later, but for now just realize that just like we have locks on our doors, like we wear clothes for protection, like we have passwords on our computers, - the mind needs to take the same kind of precautions, especially if you're looking to get serious about this kind of work and actually get anywhere with it.
You may find that some people in your life may not understand the type of endeavor you're embarking on and it may seem strange or silly to some. If you stick to your own resolve this won't be a big issue. Consider it like you're trying a new sport, or taking a new class.
You will start to get a "feel" for the co-creative universe at times. You'll start to get bursts of feelings, "hunches", and find that "coincidences" start happening more often. When this happens, I've always found it to be extremely reinforcing. You'll soon begin to realize that you have more control over things in life than you once believed.
One more thing... This is the beginning of a journey that some of us will be on for the rest of our lives, some of us only for a little while, and others not even after the first couple of steps. It depends a lot on your personal karma... They say it takes three lifetimes of steadfast interest / dedication to become ready for a serious life on this path.
It would be a good idea to take a little time and think of what kind of relationship you want to have with meditation. Embrace it and see what it can do for you. Give it an honest chance it deserves. How important do you consider your inner world? What are your personal beliefs when it comes to God, the purpose of life, the Universe, etc...
You might find you'd like to have just a few useful tools to help unwind, stay grounded, etc during day to day life. You might find you're interested in some esoteric activities but not others.. or you might even find that this way of life is something you want to keep around and growing with for the long haul. Again - it depends largely on your own thoughts / feelings about it.
Good luck in all that you do. I wish you the very best as you keep developing a relationship with yourself and the world around you.
Keep meditating - Next time I'll try to convey some methods of basic psychic self defense.
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I've been going to the powerhouse RAW classes for about a couple weeks now and just wanna write about how I'm doing and what the experience has been like thus far... I'll explain the metaphysical ramifications it's had on me and follow it up by the social / earthly experience I've had... and then end by pointing out one by one how amazingly gorgeous each girl is in the class.
... ; ) haha ooooook so I'm not actually gonna do the last part. but if you're reading this I'm glad I got ur attention : )
Keep in mind I can only speak from my own point of view, but if there's anyone out there that can gain some insight / motivation from this to change their life (in any positive way) I'm happy to do it...
I actually entered the RAW experience during a time in my life that just kind of clicked and fell into place for me - It felt very much like I was SUPPOSED to start doing it... and I think that probably helps a lot.
I'll give you a little background... Going back to the Summer... Essentially for some time I felt like I just kind of plateaued in life. I started realizing I did the college thing as far as I could take it for the time being (I had a son early in life and that can make things like school / jobs really complicated..), I felt like I finally achieved a decent job in a career field I feel good about (for now), and I knew I wanted to take a SERIOUS break in romantic relationships so I could focus on myself...
Eventually after sort of distancing myself from everything so I could really start taking Occultism seriously I became aware that I wanted to fulfill my greatest potential... and now we'll get a little metaphysical...
Once you delve into this path of self exploration, occultism / meditation / alternative spirituality - whatever u wanna call it - I believe there is a very real point that occurs when you take a hard look at yourself and become totally aware of everything about you and HOW everything about you occurred. Not only that - but you ALSO REALIZE that you are in full control of your life and you can absolutely do or have anything you want. The idea of WILL comes into play and pretty much gets magnified. You essentially discover the bliss of freedom, and what that can mean for you.
NOW - this is where powerhouse / RAW comes into place. As western Occult theory goes - As we are currently living in a PHYSICAL reality - anything PHYSICAL that we do, we feel the reaction of very quickly. This can be applied to many things in the physical reality. For example if you're feeling sad or unhappy, and then watch a silly movie or lighthearted comedy chances are you will FEEL a difference. If you are feeling stagnant, lazy, lethargic... and then you rearrange your living space, it will give an effect. If you're feeling under the weather - and then get under the covers, eat some chicken soup and get a much earlier bedtime than you're used to, most likely you're gong to reap the rewards (effects of that cause) -
In terms of doing something Physical for your BODY - you can't help but enhance you're overall LIVING experience! EVERYTHING becomes BETTER.
In essence - while you're here in this reality - you carry around a body. You move about, interact, feel, sense, and PERCIEVE via your physical body. If you treat your body nicely, put good things into it, and kick it's ass through some serious workout activity- your body will adjust to the demands, and you will feel the difference it makes VERY quickly. -
This is the kind of thing I'm after in this phase of my life. I want to bring my physical self up to a point where I feel just on top of the world everywhere I go. And this is the "metaphysical" reason I think I ended up at a gym, around people, around action - to help boost the physical side of my existence, which by natural law MUST enhance the mental / emotional side as well.
But as far as the social aspect and earthly testimonial have been for me, I can tell you - Things have been nice. The work outs - WODS will give you a run for your money that's for sure. Personally - I thought I was getting a "workout" back in the summer when I'd go run a few laps and do some pushups behind the field house. UHH - nope! lol - Being part of a class, around other people def. helps in terms of motivation and pushing your limits. This aspect is VERY sweet for me.
Ummm let's see... You get to meet new people too which is nice. For me It's like - ok awesome - this is me getting out and doing stuff. I'm actively getting out more and being part of something greater than myself. Sweet.
There ARE some physical changes you get to experience - your body starts to get used to the movements, you're sore and then you recover, you enjoy sleep more, you feel better about yourself, etc... This is a very HEALTHY endeavor.
Some personal pitfalls:
.... realizing that you could be so much more is kind of like a thorn in your side. It's like realizing well shit, if I really wanted to I could make it so this is a full time thing, my life would TOTALLY change around ... but am I ready for that? Am I willing to do it? - These kinds of thoughts eat away at me...
There is a level of "mercy vs severity" thing that I think we all have to find the balance between... It's nice to think oh well things are always conducive and they don't judge me and it's all about my comfort level and this and that... but realistically the only way you're going to get any results is to get the fuck out of that comfort zone lol and sometimes you're gonna feel a little bit like WOW this is some crazy shit... - I feel this is a good thing though cause you're testing the limits of your mind and body - and you become a better person that way.
Other lifestyle habits - This one's tricky... There are definitely some things in my life that don't exactly positively correlate to working out and getting fit. This is a personal battle, and it's in your face pretty consistently. My experience is that the more I push my body, the more works outs I do, the more WILL I use - the less important the unhealthy extracurricular activities seem to be.
For example after I just kicked my ass and feel good about myself, riding high on those endorphins... when I come home - the LAST thing I wanna do is binge out on junk food or lay on the couch and watch tv for 3 hours...
Metaphysically speaking it goes back to the concept that "like energy attracts like energy." - If you want more of something, start with the idea of that something and keep at it. Keep thinking it, and keep making yourself feel it. Once you're doing it - keep doing it. The more you do something, the more you CAN do something. You feel me?
I hope this provided some entertainment to all my awesome readers. I encourage positive change in life. It's one of the BEST feelings in the world to have an idea / desire - plan a way to obtain / achieve it - and fucking accomplish it. It's empowering like a mofo.
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Bonus!
Congratulations to Chris Rosenquest who nailed the election for County Legislature District 9 - Thanks to anyone who read my previous entries and sent out that kind of vibe in his direction - He's in - now let's see what happens!
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Thanks for reading! Elevate yourself, Shine your light into the world, aaaaaand stay tuned for more Tjism...
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